Paul's Seizures...and the thoughts of his mother

Last March we had a glimpse of things to come with Paul.

http://ourcastleinthesun.blogspot.com/2009/04/paul-health-scare.html

However, I don't think a mother can ever be prepared for this. For fall break (Oct 12-16) we decide to get away and meet up with cousins at the Grand Canyon. We had a wonderful day it was chilly and beautiful. The cousins loved the time getting to know each other better. We walked and walked. I kept waiting for Paul to get tired and be done for the day. But it didn't happen, he didn't want to miss anything, loving every minute. We had a lot of fun. That night while sleeping Paul had a tonic seizure. It was a awful thing to see a son and a brother suffer in that way. I didn't sleep the rest of the night listening to everyone breath. I was so grateful I had been there and that we were sharing a room. In the days and weeks that followed we came to realize that it was not just being over tired that had caused this first seizure, but that he was having small seizures regularly at night. That this night at the Grand Canyon was not a first at all. He is now taking a medication, and last night was his first peaceful night. I awoke at midnight to hear peaceful breathing of Mark and Paul. I listened for the next 3 hours so grateful for his resting.

Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven. (Matt 19:14)

I love the stories of the Savior's interaction with the children , especially the dead, the dieing, the lame, and those sick with the palsy like my Paul.

...When Jesus saw their faith, he said unto the sick of the palsy, Son, thy sins be forgiven thee.
But there were certain of the scribes sitting there, and reasoning in their hearts, Why doth this man thus speak blasphemies? who can forgive sins but God only? And immediately when Jesus perceived in his spirit that they so reasoned within themselves, he said unto them, Why reason ye these things in your hearts? Whether is it easier to say to the sick of the palsy, Thy sins be forgiven thee; or to say, Arise, and take up thy bed, and walk? But that ye may know that the Son of man hath power on earth to forgive sins, (he saith to the sick of the palsy,) I say unto thee, Arise, and take up thy bed, and go thy way into thine house. And immediately he arose... (Mark 2:5-12)

And as Jesus passed by, he saw a man which was blind from his birth. And his disciples asked him, saying, Master, who did sin, this man, or his parents, that he was born blind? Jesus answered, Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him... When he had thus spoken, he spat on the ground, and made clay of the spittle, and he anointed the eyes of the blind man with the clay, And said unto him, Go, wash in the pool of Siloam, He went his way therefore, and washed, and came seeing. (John (1-7)

Paul is a living testimony of the Savior and His power here on earth. The works of God have been manifest in him. It is a blessing to know him. To enjoy his smile, conversation and desire to love.

I found myself thinking about the whys of life last night. I believe the natural man seeks the why. Yesterday I heard President Uchtdorf talking on a different subject but what he said rang true to me. He said (in my words) "Why are one persons prayers answers and another persons are not. I do not know." A dear friend this Sunday shared that she has done all that she can to live the gospel and yet the health problems with her daughter remain. Her answer from the Lord,(again in my words) "It will be okay because I will always be with you. I will help you through this." It is not the whys that bring peace and blessings but the what and the hows. It is being on the path with the Savior as our guild looking toward the tree. Whys cause us to look side to side and lose sight of the goal.

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding, In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. (Prov 3:5-6)

We still have things to work out. I know all to well that this is far from over, but right now Paul can rest at night. And together this family can follow the paths to the One that that brings eternal rest, peace and complete perfect healing. I am grateful for the firm foundation of my Savior, Jesus Christ.